Ah yes, this is a tale of valour, of brave deeds, and a lot of fucking walking!

It all started on a Monday night, maybe a Tuesday night, but almost certainly a Tuesday morning. Anyway, after a night of drinking and pondering the things one ponders when drinking, I and a hairy chum ventured home from the pub for a kebab, nice one too. Having taken our fill of warm lamb doner we marched on down the road...and on...and on, until we ran out of road and arrived at the pit.

The pit is pretty cool at night, especially when there's a clear sky, it's all that's left of a quarry, but it's pretty massive, like a mini very pale grand canyon in fact. Great stuff... but anyhow, me and hairy ventured through this, and came to fields, at this point we realised we were starting to sober up.

So on through the fields we trudged... until we reached the A5 on the otherside. We found a haunted hole but it wasn't that haunted so we left it and kept going, and there it was. A blue Vauxhall Astra piloted by one "Ducky", friend and affiliate of good ol Thingy123 who incidently was co-piloting the astra. You may think this is an odd combination, Thingy123, pretty laid back, likes to laugh, and Ducky...highly strung, doesn't like ambushes, and boy did we have one for him.

As me and hairy emerged from the bushes at the side of the A5 quite far from anywhere we were meant to be Ducky's Astra careened past and my phone rang.

"Phil?"
"Yes?"
"That you?"
"Well it's my phone..."
"...no on the A5."
"Oh....yeah."

So me and hairy lured Ducky to a halt and charged his car, it was at this point we'd have fixed bayonets only we had neither bayonets nor rifles to fix them to so were quite fucked on this front, but alas we charged and stopped the car, pressed the horn, Thingy123 laughed and I took Ducky's CDs. It was a successful raid by any standards, but I rang Ducky up and he came back after them and I fell in a ditch.

But not to be beaten I and hairy eventually gave chase...all the way to Hockliffe where we realised we weren't going to be getting a ride back, which as you can imagine after walking several miles is quite irritating. So we stole a sign...this sign was carelessly left attatched to some kind of fence in public, silly place for it. But it was the proof we needed to prove we had successfully pillaged Hockliffe...and it resides in Thingy123s posession as of the other night, we was quite pleased I think.

It should be noted that this document is entirely factual in every sense, except maybe the hole being haunted. But it was smelly. Oh, and the A5 is a road for all you thickos out there.

Adios....